This blog is mainly for my benefit,to document my progress,to keep me on the straight and narrow.An added benefit is i have had the pleasure of corresponding with some people that in the real world would make terrific friends.I have read many times that some people don't like to read blogs that are depressing which i can understand but life isn't always like that my life isn't like that.I find rather than burdening people in my real life it helps to write it in blogland.
As i said before today is my 26th wedding anniversary and like on my wedding day my husband has made me cry. Apparently i don't get it and i don't understand and appreciate him.What i know is i just don't know where im going wrong.How should i show i appreciate how hard he works...
My tears have dried ,positive spin has been put on life again and on it goes back up the incline of the rollercoaster my life is.
Well you cannot be doing anything that bad he has stayed with you for so long. He ought to explain what it is he believes you have done. More his problem that yours x hugs x
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you need to have a good heart to heart with each other. With each of you being given the time, without interruption to have your say, and then go away and think over what has been said rather than arguing about it.
ReplyDeleteI had been married for 24 years, the last 12 or so of them being a downhill struggle, we sat and talked (or I tried to, not altogether successfully). Then I suddenly realised we were not even the same people anymore that we had been when we married. (He accused me of trying to poison him the next day because his coffee tasted funny!!)
I looked for a new place to live the following week and moved out with just my son, my 4 cats, my personal belongings and the debt we had accrued. I left him the house, furniture, car, everything. It was a struggle to start again but I did it with a light heart and the realisation that yes, I was the same person as years earlier, I had just been swamped with so much negativity from him and so much sadness.
It cost me £1000 to leave, for the rental deposit on a tiny house and the first months rent, 2 beds for me and my son and a massive shopping spree at the charity shop I worked at for all my household bits and bobs, I put it all on my credit card and paid it off as soon as I could.
But I was free and that was what turned my life around. You've seen what has happened to me since on my Blog and I can honestly say that THIS is my life, the old life is far, far behind me.
Sometimes you just have to be YOU.
Sue xx
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHello my dear friend, I am so sorry your day has been pants x Firstly it is your blog to do with as you wish. If you want to be happy and upbeat then great. However if life is crap and you want someone to talk to about it, then that's fine too.
ReplyDeleteNow on to OH - As you know my OH is pretty much the same and often makes me feel really miserable and generally crappy with his grumpy ways. Last year we had a serious talk and I told him how unhappy he was making us both and it seemed to sink in for ages and he improved considerably. Lately though, he seems to be going the same way and I don't think we'll last 26 years somehow. That really is some achievement. I'm hoping that by sorting out our debt problems things will improve but seriously doubt it. Sadly sometimes the only way to resolve these situations is as Sue has had to do above, not easy I know and I am not currently in a financial position to do so and would urge you to think things through before taking such action, as I'm sure you will. Life sometimes is greener on the other side but its hard too.
Lots of hugs and good warm happy wishes Granny x
BTW silly computer published half a comment so I deleted it and rewrote it x
I'm sorry to hear that today hasn't been great. What is it about men that you love them and want to kill them simultaneously....! It's not easy to be married for 20+ years. Sending loads of love, Jx
ReplyDeleteHoney, sometimes you need to cry and if the OH has made you cry then it's a lot better to cry than stab him with something. If you EVER need more than just a blurt on your blog, then leave me a message on my blog with an email address and I'll send you a direct contact, OK?
ReplyDeleteAs for folk complaining - they have a choice to read or not don't they? As far as I'm concerned I read and follow because I choose to; and I'm still choosing. Hang on in there.
Drink hot choccy and have a good soak x x x
Hi nto, sorry you have had an unhappy anniversary. You have both had a difficult year with ups and downs, plus the added stress of trying to count the pennies to clear the debts.
ReplyDeleteIts bound to take its toll, it sounds like you both need some time alone away from everyday life to talk through everything. Like one of the other posters says, 26 years IS a long time so it can't be all bad.
Take care of yourself x
Oops , ps. The answer to the question you asked yesterday is no-one except my dh knows I keep an online diary and he has never shown any interest in reading it. I would feel very restricted if family and friends knew about it, and less able to have a moan when I felt like it too!
PPS. Please don't feel you can only post when everything is going to plan, you have lots of online friends who are there to listen and hopefully cheer you up a bit if needed.
Chin up hun x
Hugs and prayers for you and your marriage. We have been at this deal for 38 years now, lots of great days and some pretty darn stinky ones as well. Men can say the dumbest things sometimes but it is just the nature of the beast, they are men after all! Ha
ReplyDeleteI don't think my family has any intrest in my blog so they don't read it often. They see my blog as something crazy Mom enjoys
How I echo the thoughts of everyone else who has left a comment. I can sense your sadness from your post but if he really felt badly done to by you surely he would have long gone? You obviously do your job so well that he doesnt notice how much effort you put in too. I am married to my second hubby and I know how much effort it all takes.It wasnt easy leaving the first time but I am very happy now and Tony makes me feel really good about myself. Jobs are shared between us (not always equally but on balance he works more hours than I do) and every day he tells me he loves me.I pray that things get better for you but maybe you do need to sit him down and explain exactly how you feel and ask for more support. I am sending my thoughts, hugs and love to you, keep your chin up and remember you can always sound off to your blog friends!
ReplyDeleteMen! Why are they so much hard work and effort.
ReplyDeleteHope your OK x
Oh hun. I have only just read this and hope all is ok now. a good cry tends to make you feel so much better.
ReplyDeletehugs
X x