Monday, 2 July 2012

Letter from the heart

Dear *****
Today you have taken my granddaughters 400 miles and an 8 hour drive away from my son and us.To say he is heartbroken is an understatement.When you decided you didnt want to be with him just before Maddies 1st birthday i never held it against you.We all made the best of a bad situation.For the last 3 years he has never let you or the girls down,Always picked them up on time,paid on time.He has looked after Brooke as his own since she was 4 years old.We in turn have loved having them over every Tuesday as you complained about the girls sleeping over my sons on a school night and being taken home the following morning.So to save him wasting valuable time with the girls he would come to me after work as i was nearer home.
Our last weekend with the girls was very upsetting,Maddie was ill and had to go into hospital for observation.I hope it upset you being so far away from her when she was unwell.Something my son will no doubt have to deal with.You have now told him you are unlikely to be able to meet us half way so you have now limited the time he can spend with his girls.
This may sound so bitter but this is how i feel,many fathers loose contact with their children through no fault of their own.Mothers do seem to have all the rights.You hold all the cards.You have moved to be closer to your mum who i hastened to add moved away from you so she could enjoy early retirement playing golf and socializing with her friends.I understand that its not always possible for people to live near all family,if you had been with my son and decided to move it would have hurt but it would have been a decision you both came to .This was not the case my son found out a month ago via a text from a friend how heartless was that.We have all shed so many tears this weekend.
I hope you realise what you have done,The 2nd July will now always be remembered as the anniversary of my mum passing away and the day we had our granddaughters taken away from us.


  1. I feel for you and your son - it must be heartbreaking for you - a number of daft sayings, comes to mind like 'what goes around comes around' 'the Lord always pays his debts' and 'bide your time' - finally for this very selfish young woman 'the grass isn't always greener on the other side'
    I hope things will improve for you till then hugs from me xxxx

  2. Sending loads of love and best wishes to you both. Jx

  3. I'm so so sorry. I hope they will come up with some sort of compromise, so your son can spend time with his daughters. Lots of hugs sending your way!

  4. I have a friend who has had years of agony and court trips her hubby over the step kids, but mums really do hold all the cards so you have to bite your toungue which is not fair.
    I hope she is the kind of woman who will be reasonable so you can keep up access, would she be willing to share school holidays with your son?

  5. Sending you all love and hugs. xx

  6. Sending massive hugs your way xx

  7. Sending lots of hugs and best wishes for you at this sad time x

  8. So sorry for you all.Very sad when a family splits but to take the children so far away is cruel.Hope you manage to still get to have them in holidays.X

  9. Very sad post - my brother in law is in a similar situation. Sending you a big hug x

  10. Just logging in to see how you are doing tonight. Hope you are ok, big hugs once again

    Granny x

  11. Hugs for you.

    I know how this feels, exactly how this feels.

    I have been through what seems like a lifetime of pining for my first born grandson. My son and his girlfriend were not married and split when Liam was only small, she would not let him see his son except on her terms, sporadically and with last minute cancellations, then Liam was taken off her and put into care. My son fought long and hard to get him back for years and never succeeded. Then last year he was taken out of care and given back to his Mum (who by this time had had three other children all by different fathers, one baby was immediately taken into care and adopted at birth).

    This was the bitterest blow for my son, who has all but given up. My grandson will be 13 this September, I think I have seen him about 10 times in his life.

    I don't know how you miss what you have never had......but I do.

    I hope your family can pull together at this sad time and help each other through this. It's like a bereavement and is so hard.

    We can both only hope that when the children are old enough they seek out the parent and grandparents that they were so cruelly deprived of when small, and we can begin to build adult relationships with them.

    Thinking of you and your family.

    Sue xx